Dinner and Murder
by DecaTilde
Summary: Originally written by hopeless-romance45, a.k.a. "Villains' Bad Girl", and an adaptation of the Season 9 premiere, "And Then There Were Fewer". The Griffins are invited to spend the weekend at Rocky Point Manor. Is it just an innocent party like the invitation says, or will they, along with all of Quahog, be tied together in in a string of murders? Sequel to "Our Adventures Begin".
1. The Invitation

_Dinner and Murder  
_

a _Family Guy_ fanfic

by hopeless-romance45 (a.k.a. "Villains' Bad Girl")

Hosted by LDEJRuff

* * *

 _Original Author's Note: Hey everyone! And welcome to my new chapter in the Family Guy series! By popular demand…this is "And Then There Were Fewer"!_

* * *

 _Hoster's Note:_ _Actually, it's an **adaptation** of "And Then There Were Fewer", based on VBG's  Family Guy universe.  
_

* * *

Chapter 1 - The Invitation

* * *

Barbara curled up on the floor next to Brian as she napped the afternoon away. Brian smiled as he petted her fur back. It had been nine months that they were happily married and life couldn't get any better. She woke as the front door opened.

"Attention everyone", Peter said coming into the house. "Mail call! Meg _, Teen People_. Chris, _Amazing Spiderman_. Lois, _Red Book_. World War II army guy, a letter from your gal!"

Everyone laughed excited as the army guy opened up the letter anxious to read it.

" _Dear, Willy_

 _It's been awful lonesome since you went away."_

"Did you hear that?" he said. "She misses me!"

Everyone laughed again seeing the excited and happy look on his face. Peter opened his envelope finding a letter.

"Hey check this out", he said. "We got invited to a party!"

Peter Griffin, you and your family are cordially invited to a gala dinner in your honor at Rocky Point Manor.

"What?" Lois said. "What are they honoring you for?"

"Who cares? It says here it's for the whole weekend and it's free!"

"Well, who's the invitation from?"

"I don't know", Peter said. "Doesn't say."

"So you're going to go to some stranger's house just cause an invitation says so?" Barbara asked. "It could be some psycho for all we know."

"She's right", Brian said. "It's clearly some kind of scam."

"Oh, well then maybe we just go and you and Barbara go to the kennel", Peter said.

"No!" Barbara said starting to shake. "I'm claustrophobic!"

"You know what happened to Barbara", Brian said. "She can't stand cages. And the last time you left me in the kennel for an hour. Or 10 years. There's no clock there!"

"Ew, you stink when you come out of there", Stewie said giving Brian a dirty look.

With that said, everyone when to pack their things for the weekend, ready to go to the manor for the so-called party.


	2. Rocky Point Manor

Chapter 2 - Rocky Point Manor

* * *

Everyone was so bored on the long drive t Rocky Point Manor. No one was talking. The radio wasn't playing.

"Hey, I know what'll make this entertaining", Barbara said.

"What?" Brian asked.

She watched a car drive past them and punched him on the arm.

"Punch buggy!"

"She got you good", Stewie laughed.

"Please, Barbara", Lois said. "It's such a long ride. Can we please be quiet the rest of the way?"

"Sure, if you insist, Lois", Barbara said.

For the rest of the ride, no one spoke. Most everyone fell asleep. They drew through the city in silence and drove through the country in silence. After three hours of driving, the sun began to set.

"Think we'll make it there before tomorrow?" Barbara asked.

"Dad, are we almost there?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, according to the map, we're really close", Peter answered.

"Peter, look!" Lois gasped waking everyone up.

As Peter continued to drive, Rocky Point Manor started coming into view. They crossed the stone bridge and passed through the gates to see the mansion close to the edge of the cliff, which beneath was the ocean with sharp rocks above the water. Everyone stared at the mansion with wide eyes as they pulled in to park.

"My god!" Lois said. "This is absolutely beautiful!"

"Sure our host isn't Dracula?" Barbara asked looking at the house uneasy.

Her ears perked as she heard a car approaching. Everyone turned to see Joe and Bonnie pull up next to them.

"Joe?"

"Peter?"

"What the hell are you guys doing here?" Peter asked.

"We got an invitation to a dinner in my honor", Joe answered. "I assumed it was for all those arrests I made last month."

"That's weird. The invitation said it was in my honor. I assumed it was for being able to fart the alphabet, which I almost did until I pooped on the S."

"Nice to know, Peter", Barbara said disgusted. "Hey, look. More people are coming."

"What the…?" Brian said as his attention went to the next arrivals. "Derek and Jillian?"

"Wow, hi Brian", Jillian said.

"So, this is the Jillian I've heard about", Barbara said wrapping her arms around Brian's arm.

She didn't like the way Brian was looking at her. Barbara fought the urge to growl at Jillian who was looking totally oblivious to her.

"What are you guys doing here?" Brian asked ignoring Barbara.

"I got a card that says they're throwing a dinner in my honer", Jillian answered.

"Wow, she really is a blonde", Barbara mumbled.

"Wait a minute", Brian said. "What the hell's going on here? Everybody got the same invitation?"

They turned to see Mort and Muriel Goldman arriving next. After them came Quagmire.

"Oh", he said when he saw everyone. "Hey. Didn't think I'd see anyone I knew here."

He looked real embarrassed as a heavy woman wearing a sweater and sweatpants stood beside him.

"This…this is Stephanie."

"Hi, everybody!" she said incredibly happy. "Oh my gosh! I never thought I'd meet Glen's friends!"

"Yeah, I figured why not?" Quagmire said embarrassed. "You and I see each other from time to time."

"Oh my god! We like, never see each other! This guy! You like, disappear for a month and never call me! You're so silly! You're lucky I like you so much!"

"Okay, why don't you go ahead and take the bags in?" Quagmire said having enough.

"So this is your latest piece of ass?" Barbara said eager to shove his face in this. "Running out of options?"

"Wow, it looks like the whole town got invited!" Lois said as even more people arrived.

Chris' boss, Carl stepped out of his truck. Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons arrived together. Dr. Hartman drove up beside them. Mayor West floated down with a parachute. Old man Herbert the pervert drove up in an ice cream truck. Last but not least was sailor Seamus who rowed in from the ocean. Everyone said nothing about it as they went inside the manor.

The maid Consuela was there to greet everyone.

"Mr. Peter. Mr. Joe. Mr. Bonnie."

"She doesn't know what Mr. means", Stewie whispered to Barbara and Brian.

"Mr. Mort", she continued. "Mr. Muriel. Mayor West Mr."

"Oh my god, serious", Stewie said nearly laughing.

"If you will all please follow me to third floor", Consuela said. "I show you to your rooms. You are all expected for dinner at 8:00."

"Oh, good!" Stephanie said. "I'm starved!"

"Settle down, will you?" Quagmire said.


	3. A Murderous Host?

Chapter 3 - A Murderous Host?

* * *

It was now 8:00. The sun has gone down and everything was dark. Everyone walked to the dining room in their finest clothes. All except for Stewie who wore shorts and a sweater vest. Consuela handed out glasses of wine to make the guests happy.

"None of this makes any sense", Brian said looking around. "Everyone got invitations from an anonymous source for a dinner in their honor, when that's clearly not the case."

"Honey, do you think anyone in this room besides us cares at this point?" Barbara asked.

"Well now that we're here, where the hell's our host?"

"Ugh, at least you all had evening wear provided for you", Stewie complained. "I thought this was going to be a lawn party. I don't have one pair of long pants."

"You didn't pack any just to be safe?" Barbara asked.

"Boy, it's kind of awkward see Jillian here with Derek", Brian said, his eyes wandering. "I wonder if she's thinking about me."

"Brian", Barbara growled. "Will you stop thinking about her already? She's married. You're married to me. Get over her."

Everyone took their seats at the dining table as they heard footsteps echo through the halls. Everyone turned to see who their mysterious host was. Their hosts stepped into the light with a smile on his face.

"Hello, everyone."

"James Woods?" Lois gasped.

Brian growled as Barbara backed away with her tail tucked between her legs. No one had forgiven James for what he did to them.

"Thank you for joining me at my humble manor", James said. "I'd like to introduce you to my lovely companion, Priscilla."

"Nice to meet you all", she said pleasantly.

"Who's he?" Jillian asked.

"James Woods", Derek answered.

"I thought he was a shark?"

"No, he was on a show called Shark."

"But he's made of wood?" Jillian asked.

"No, his last name is Woods", Derek said. "But he's not made of wood. Nobody is."

"Oh my god, Brian", Barbara said annoyed. "How the hell did you put up with this bimbo?"

"She has…had a great body", Brian said trying to choose his words carefully.

"This truly is a night to celebrate", James said sitting at the head of the table. Especially for me."

"You arrogant bastard!" Barbara said.

"Hey, what's going on here, Woods?" Joe said. "The invitation said this was a dinner in my honor."

"That's what mine said too", Mayor West said.

"Yeah, me too", Quagmire said.

The rest of the town agreed saying all their invitations for a dinner in their honor.

"Well, actually this dinner honors of all of you", James said. "Where should I begin? You see, recently I've become a born-again Christian thanks to this beautiful little angel. She came into my life as if out of nowhere, enchanted me beyond my wildest dreams, and opened my eyes to the cleansing truth of Jesus Christ's love."

"Oh honey, it was always within you", Priscilla said blushing. "I just helped you find it."

"Um…what does all this gay stuff have to do with us?" Carl asked.

"Please, cut the crap and get to the point", Barbara said drinking more wine.

"The fact of the manner is that I have wronged each and every one of you in some way", James said. "And since I'm a man of god now, I am truly repentant. So, I invited you all here to make amends."

"Why the hell should we trust you?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, you've been terrorizing our family for years!" Brian said.

"You abused me and stole my childhood", Barbara said.

"I understand that there is some healing to do here tonight", James said. "And I am prepared to be patient. Please, won't you just give me a chance? And I promise you won't be disappointed."

"(bleep) no!" Barbara said.

"I'm just going to go check on dinner", he said frowning.

"Oh, I'll help you, sweetheart", Priscilla said going with him.

"This is all very strange", Tom Tucker said.

"I agree", Diane Simmons said. "Something's not right."

"I don't know", Lois said. "Maybe we should give him a chance. Maybe he really is born-again."

"You'll just believe anything anyone will tell you, won't you?" Barbara said.

"Maybe he could be", Stephanie said. "It all depends on what his astrological sign is."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!" Quagmire said annoyed.

"That's karma for you, you big-chinned bastard", Barbara smiled crossing her arms.

"I'm very intuitive with these things", Stephanie said going to James' chair. "Maybe if I sit in his chair, I can get a reading on his energy. I mean, if he's an Aquarius, a rebirth would not be unexpected."

Barbara turned to Brian who was trying to open a bottle of champagne.

"You bored too?" she asked.

"I need another drink", he answered popping the cork off the bottle.

It went flying in Stephanie's direction, but Derek caught it before it hit her. Out of nowhere, blood started gushing from her chest. Everyone gasped as they saw the blood.

"Did the…did the cork hit me?" she asked before falling face down onto the table.

Everyone screamed as they backed away from her. Dr. Hartman got up and checked her pulse.

"My god! She's dead! She's been shot!"

Everyone gasped in fear.

"I can't help feeling this would be sadder if she wasn't heavy", Stewie said killing the mood.


	4. Stranded

Chapter 4 - Stranded

* * *

"Oh my god!" Lois said as Peter held her. "It was him! It was James Woods! He killed Stephanie!"

"I always knew he was a bastard, but never this insane", Barbara said as Brian held her.

"He must have brought us here to kill us all!" Mort said. "Run! Run for your lives!"

Everyone ran out of the dining room, outside to their cars. Everyone looked at the sky as it started to rain hard. A flash of lightning lit up the sky.

"Come on, get in the car!" Peter said as everyone piled in.

Peter stepped on the gas trying to get out of there, as did everyone behind them. Just as they reached the bridge, a bolt of lightning flashed and hit a tree. The tree collapsed on top of the bridge, making it crumble. Everyone screamed as Peter hit the brakes just before the car fell into the gap. Only problem was the front end of the car was over the edge and tilting enough to fall in.

"Oh my god, Peter!" Lois said. "Back it up!"

"Oh really, Lois?" Peter said cynical. "I thought I might drive forward. I thought that might be a fun thing to do."

"Stop fighting!" Chris shouted.

The car continued to tilt forward until Brian scooted over.

"Oh my god! Quick, Peter get in the back!"

Peter climbed over the seat into the back. Lois scooted into the driver's seat putting the car in reverse, saving them from falling to their deaths…until they crashed into Mort and Muriel's car behind them.

"Oh thank god", Peter sighed as they got out of the car. "We made it."

Mort got out of his car wearing a neck brace acting as if he was injured.

"My neck…you backed into me and now…"

"And your back", Muriel added.

"We have no time for this!" Barbara said slapping some sense into Mort.

* * *

Alright it looks like we're stuck here", Joe said as everyone sat in the lounge. "The storm has flooded the causeway and the bridge is destroyed. For the moment…there's no way out."

"No Way Out, great film", Carl said. "Sean Young naked in a limo."

"What are we going to do?" Bonnie asked. "We can't just stay here with James Woods lurking somewhere in the house."

"Alright, does anyone have a cell phone?" Joe asked.

Everyone pulled their cell phones from their pockets.

"I'm not getting any reception", Tom Tucker said.

"Me neither!" Herbert said.

"No bars!" Mort said.

"It's alright", Mayor West said. "I'll put a message in a bottle."

He wrote a note and stuck it in a bottle and left it on the desk beside him.

"Now we wait."

"Seriously, who voted for this guy to be our mayor?" Barbara whispered to Brian.

"This town's full of idiots", he answered.

"Look, he's got a landline we can use!" Derek said pointing to a phone on the desk.

"Oh no", Lois said. "You know, I wouldn't feel right about that. We're guests and it's long distance."

"Now's not the time to be polite, Lois", Barbara said. "It's either call the cops or wait for James Woods to kill us."

"It doesn't matter", Brian said picking up the phone. "The line's dead."

Everyone in the room started panicking until Herbert spoke up.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Everyone but Chris, just keep your pants on and let's figure a way out of here."

"He's right", Diane said. "We just got to stay calm."

"With a killer in the house?" Bonnie asked.

"Killer in the hooooooooooouse!" Stewie said.

Barbara giggled smiling for the first time in all this.

"Stewie, say that again."

"Killer in the hooooooooooouse!"

"Hey, guys", Priscilla said coming into the lounge. "Has anyone seen James?"

"Sweetheart, you may want to sit down for this", Joe said wheeling toward her.

"Who want little tiny tacos?" Consuela said coming with a tray of tacos.

"Ooh, little tacos", James said coming in the room. "I'll have one of those."

Everyone gasped and backed away from him.

"It's him!" Bonnie said pointing.

"Sorry I took so long", James said ignoring everyone's looks at him. "I was going to the bathroom and I just couldn't stop looking at my penis cause you know, it's just so fantastic."

"Too much information!" Barbara said.

"You're a monster—yeah it's fantastic—you're a monster, James Woods!" Peter said. "You think that you could just commit murder and get away with it? Quagmire loved that girl!"

"Easy", Quagmire said embarrassed.

"Murder?" James said. "What are you talking about?"

"You're going away for a long time, pal", Joe said.

"Jimmy, what does he mean?" Priscilla asked stepping close to James.

"I honestly don't know what's going on here."

"Oh really?" Tom said. "Well maybe that dead pile of cookie dough in the next room will refresh your memory."

"What do you mean?" James asked. "There's nothing in that room."

James led everyone back into the dining room. They looked at the head of the table and sure enough, Stephanie's body was gone.

"It's gone!" Brian gasped.

"Where is she, Woods?" Joe asked. "What did you do with the body?"

"What body?" James asked.

"You know, maybe she wasn't dead", Dr. Hartman said. "I'll admit it. I'm not great with that stuff sometimes."

"And you're a licensed doctor?" Barbara asked.

"I told you", Brian said. "Idiots."

"Alright, look", James said. "I don't know what's happening here. But look, I'll admit that I'm a lot of things. A member of mensa, a huge hit with the ladies, someone who've broken out bigger if he wasn't impossible to work with, but a murderer! I had just found God. Why would I want to jeopardize my entrance into heaven?"

"If I were you, I'd keep your mouth shut till I talk to a lawyer", Joe said.

"But I didn't kill anybody!"

Unexpectedly, the power went out. Everything was pitch black. Everyone gasped until Peter ruined the suspense.

"Oh my god! Is this what black people see all the time?"

Everyone heard the sound of a knife entering flesh and a body hitting the floor. They all screamed in fear unsure who was attacked. The lights came back on showing everyone in the room was alive…except for James Woods who laid dead with a knife in his back.

Priscilla screamed as she saw the body. Dr. Hartman kneeled next to him and checked his pulse.

"He's dead."

"Oh my god!"

Priscilla fainted into Carl's arms who caught her with his hands on her breasts.

"Nice."


	5. The First Clue

Chapter 5 - The First Clue

* * *

"Nobody touch the knife!" Joe said as he looked at James Woods' body. "There could be fingerprints on it."

"So James Woods murdered Stephanie and then he murdered himself", Peter said. "Crisscross."

"Peter, do you ever listen to yourself when you talk?" Barbara asked. "Does it look like he murdered himself?"

"Peter, don't you see?" Joe asked. "He didn't kill himself and he didn't kill Stephanie."

"What are you saying?" Peter asked.

"I'm saying James Woods isn't the murderer. The murderer…is one of us!"

Everyone gasped as they backed away from Joe. He then picked up an empty tray.

"And someone ate the last goat cheese tart plate."

Everyone started yelling in fear and in anger.

"I hope I die next!" Peter said.

Everyone looked around scared. No one knew who the killer was and any one of them could die next. Brian held Barbara as she shook in fear.

"I'm scared", she said. "I always wanted James Woods to suffer but I didn't want to suffer with him."

"Okay, everyone", Joe said taking charge. "It's important that we all stay calm."

"How are we supposed to stay calm?" Mayor West asked. "There's a killer in the room! We got to get out of here! We're all going to die!"

"Mr. Mayor!" Peter said grabbing him and shaking him. "Pull yourself together!"

He pushed Mayor West into the shelves knocking down one of the china plates which shattered when it hit the floor.

"Wait a minute", Brian said looking at the plates. "Joe, look!"

Everyone looked at the space where the fallen plate was. In its space was a gun and a timer. They noticed the gun was facing the head of the table where Stephanie was shot. Joe picked up the broken plate and discovered a bullet hole in it.

"Oh my god", Derek said figuring it out.

"Stephanie was an accident", Joe said.

"That's a way of putting it", Quagmire rudely said.

"Put a sock in it, you douche", Barbara said getting annoyed with him.

"What do you mean, Joe?" Lois asked completely oblivious.

"This gun was timed to fire directly at that chair…where James Woods would've been sitting. But he left and Stephanie was in the wrong place at the wrong time. So whoever the murderer is, they were after James Woods, not Stephanie. But the question is who here wanted James Woods dead?"

Everyone looked at each other uncertain. They all had a motive for wanting him dead but they didn't know who could've actually done it.

"Let's look around and see if we can find anymore clues", Joe said.

Everyone went out into the main hallway to look for clues. It was dark and no one really knew what to look for.

"Oh my god!" Peter said breaking the silence.

He quickly ran up the stairs. Barbara watched as Brian looked through cabinets looking for any clues.

"Guys, I feel like everyone's wondering why I'm wearing shorts", Stewie said still uncomfortable in his outfit.

"Nobody's even looking at you", Brian said annoyed.

"That's what I mean. The fact that no one has said anything makes it even more obvious no one has noticed."

"Stewie, your outfit's not important right now", Barbara said. "All that matters is we find out who the killer is and get out of here alive."

"Brian, look what I found!" Peter called out.

Everyone gathered around the staircase to see Peter dressed up in a suit of armor that was standing on the landing of the stairs.

"Check it out!" he said. "I'm a robot from outer space! Hang on, I'm coming down. Go-go Gadget skis!"

He jumped up thinking skis would automatically appear but instead, he came tumbling down the stairs, sliding across the floor and knocked into Joe. Joe fell out of his wheelchair and slid across the floor until he bumped into a pedestal. The vase that sat on top of the pedestal fell onto his head, knocking him out cold.

"Uh-oh", Peter said.


	6. Motives

Chapter 6 - Motives

* * *

"Aright", Peter said as everyone gathered round. "Since it's my fault Joe's knocked out, it is my responsibility to take over the investigation."

"I…I don't know if that actually follows", Brian said unsure of his decision.

"Oh, it follows, Brian. Because I'm the one with the giant magnifying glass."

Barbara shook her head as Peter pulled out a giant magnifying glass and held it up to his eye.

"Is my eye big?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Good, good. That means progress."

"Peter, you don't know the first thing about investigations", Barbara said. "First we should interview everyone and see what their motive was and if they have an alibi."

"Alright, let's figure out what we know here", Brian said. "The gun was clearly meant to kill James Woods, but Stephanie got in the way. So the murderer had to improvise and finish the job by stabbing him. Now, who here had a motive for wanting James Woods dead?"

"Well according to James Woods, we all did", Lois said. "He brought us here to make amends with us."

"But he wronged one of us enough to want revenge", Mayor West said. "The question is who?"

"Well, I know one person who could have", Diane said. "My partner, Tom."

Everyone looked at Tom Tucker in horror.

"Alright, it's true", Tom said. "James Woods ruined my career. I originally wanted to be an actor. I booked the lead role in _Nightmare on Elm Street_. But James Woods said no, don't bother. Something else would come along. So I turned it down, and now this Robert Englund is the talk of the town. That should be me everyone's talking about! Aren't I angry? Yes, of course! But I didn't kill him."

"Well Tom, to be honest, I just can't see you playing Freddy Krueger", Barbara said. "Robert Englund is cooler than you."

"What about Seamus?" Tom said looking for another motive. "You hated James Woods. You told me so."

"Aye", Seamus sighed. "He's the one who made me what I am today."

* * *

 _James Woods sighed as he looked at the wooden carving of Seamus._

" _I wish he were a real live ornery sea captain."_

* * *

"But he didn't wish hard enough. It only worked on me head!"

"Oh my god, seriously?" Peter said.

"Nah", Seamus said. "Actually I was a normal guy until we dropped acid together and he thought I was a steak. Grilled me, ate me arms and legs, the whole thing. But I'm not the killer!"

"Yes, your motive's not that strong", Barbara said. "Do you know anyone else who had a motive?"

"What about the mayor?" Seamus said pointing to Mayor West. "He could've killed him and got off scot-free."

"He took the Twitter name Mayor West", he sighed. "So now I have to use Mayor_West. That rat-faced cracker!"

"Okay, you had no motive at all", Barbara said.

"But you hated him too, Dr. Hartman!"

"Sure I hated him", Dr. Hartman said. "I was performing surgery and James Woods took the major organs out of the body when I had my back turned. I was suspended for nearly a year! Mort, you hated him too."

"I didn't kill him!" Mort said. "Maybe it was Diane!"

"James Woods promised to introduce me to Dan Rather", she sighed. "But instead, he introduced me to Danny Bonaducci. I tell you, that guy looks like a dog turning 30. But what about the old guy? I heard him complaining about Woods in the dining room."

"That's true", Herbert said. "He replaced my Cialis with methamphetamines!"

* * *

 _Two boys pedaled fast on their bikes as they rode down the street._

" _Pedal faster!" one boy said._

" _I can't go any faster!" the other boy said._

 _Herbert rapidly followed them down the street._

" _Where you going, kids? Hey, I just want to talk to you. Why don't you come over to my place for a glass of wine and a couple of fruit pops and swing into the back room and play crazy snakes? Hehehehehe!"_

* * *

"And what about Quagmire?" Peter asked pointing.

"Fine, so he stole Cheryl Tiegs from me", Quagmire said before turning to Brian. "He ruined your TV pilot."

"Go to hell!" Brian said. "I backed out of that project willingly."

"Oh yeah, that's what every hack says. You know, Brian-"

"You hurt him and I will bite you in the ass so hard your kids will be born with teeth marks!" Barbara said.

"And what about you?" Quagmire said. " _You_ knew James Woods better than _any_ of us!"

"He stole my childhood from me", Barbara said. "Do you know what it's like to have to fight every day just to live? He abused me and used me and once he had enough, he tossed me out to the streets!"

Brian held her as she cried. Everyone else started arguing. The women pulled each other's hair. Herbert and Seamus used their canes and wooden arms to fight. Carl pushed Chris into a bookshelf knocking down a few books. One book hit the floor and suddenly the bookcase began moving, revealing a secret room. Everyone gasped as they looked at it.

"Eh, my secret room's bigger", Stewie said.

"Mine's smaller", Herbert said.

* * *

 _Hoster's Note: I had to replace the word "snake" with "steak". Special thanks to johnd876 for pointing this out._


	7. A Suspect

_Hoster's note:_ _Let's omit VBG's note preceding this chapter. What **was** the document she incorrectly submitted before correcting the mistake? Anyway, back to the story. I'm sure she can leave an answer in the form of a review for the chapter._

* * *

Chapter 7 - A Suspect

* * *

Everyone stood where they were as Peter went inside the secret room.

"Alright, stand back", he said. "This could be dangerous."

Everyone watched Peter go into the dark room. They waited in anxiety hoping nothing that could kill them was in there.

"Oh, laundry room", Peter said. "Laundry room, everybody!"

Everyone let out a breath of relief as Peter came back into view.

"What now?" Barbara asked.

Peter walked to the bookshelf and looked at a bust that sat on one the shelves. He turned it almost as if he knew what to do. As soon as he turned the bust, the bookshelf turned, revealing another secret room.

"See, here we go", Peter said smiling.

Everyone followed him into the secret room. Barbara picked up one of the lit candles and carried it as they walked down the stairs.

"Brian, I'm scared", she whimpered.

"It'll be okay", Brian said holding her hand. "We'll make it out of this alive."

Everyone reached the bottom of the stairs finding a simple den. There was nothing out of the ordinary about it. There was a desk. There was another bookshelf. There were some framed pictures here and there. Barbara frowned as she sniffed the air.

"I smell a rat", she said.

"Oh, that was probably me", Peter said. "Silent, but deadly…"

Everyone looked around to find any more clues. Peter saw a book on the desk and picked it up and looked inside it.

"Ah-ha", he said. "James Woods made a list of all his misdeeds so he could make amends. Bonnie, he punched you in the throat and that's why you sound like that?"

"No, Peter", Bonnie said. "He punched me in the throat because I sound like this."

"I don't see anything wrong with her voice", Barbara said. "She has a sweet voice."

"And Consuela", Peter said turning to her. "He…I can't read his handwriting here. What happened?"

"One day I bring my nephew to work and he molest my nephew", Consuela said. "My nephew, he only 14. And then he cry and then he shoot himself in the face."

"I never took James Woods for the molesting type", Barbara said.

"It's always the quiet ones", Chris said not noticing Herbert smiling at him behind his back.

"And Carl", Peter said turning to him. "He took all your movies and burned them?"

"Yeah and he replaced those movies with every single movie that showed him naked", Carl said. "Scarred me for life."

"Ew!" everyone in the room said.

"And Joe, James Woods stole your wheelchair and returned it with the words 'homo cripple' painted on the back?"

Peter laughed as he read it again.

"Oh, that's hilarious!"

Everyone continued picking apart the room to find more clues. They looked through the files and papers. Brian looked through the drawers finding dozens of bottles of pills.

"What are all these?" he asked. "God, there's a ton of oxycodone bottles in here. All prescribed to James Woods and all from Goldman's Pharmacy."

"What's that all about, Goldman?" Dr. Hartman asked suspicious.

"I don't know what you're talking about", Mort said. "James Woods never bought anything from my pharmacy, ever!"

"Yes, he did", Peter said reading the book. "Says here, he talked Muriel into selling him oxycodone for him and his 19-year-old girlfriend. This went on for months. Then she started to have misgivings and she threatened to cut him off, but he wouldn't let her. He threatened to blackmail her by turning her into the feds!"

Everyone looked at Muriel thinking they finally found their killer.

"Sounds like a pretty good motive to me", Tom said.

"Yep", Barbara said. "Good strong motive."

"No!" Muriel said. "No, it's not true. I would never kill anybody, never! And I am not saying another word until I talk to my lawyer because—why is he wearing shorts?"

"Oh my god", Stewie said. "I told you!"

"Get over it!" Barbara said.

"Muriel, just surrender quietly", Mayor West said. "It'll be easier for us all if you—"

A flash of lightning went through the sky. The power went out, sending the house into complete darkness. Meg screamed in fear at the darkness until the lights came back on. Only problem was, Muriel was now gone.

"She's gone!" Lois gasped.

Everyone ran to the door and up the stairs hoping Muriel would be there. They were wrong as they found nobody.

"We lost her", Brian said.


	8. Splitting Up

Chapter 8 - Splitting Up

* * *

Everyone looked around for Muriel.

"As long as there's a murderer on the loose, none of us are safe", Peter said. "Alright, let's split up and search the house. I'll go with Lois. Chris, you check the basement with Herbert."

Herbert smiled widely as he stepped toward Chris.

"Meg, you go with Brian, Stewie and Barbara."

"Uh, no", Stewie said. "She…she can't."

"Yeah, she can't", Brian added. "We were going to use this time to uh…figure out what to get you for your birthday."

"Ooh, yeah", Peter said. "You guys go. Now I'm excited."

"You just didn't want her to drag us around and bring our spirits down, did you?" Barbara asked.

"Can you blame us?" Stewie asked. "She needs to get laid big-time."

"Meg, you go with Carl", Peter said. "Sorry, Carl. Tom and Diane, you're a team. Quagmire and Bonnie, you're a team. Uh…Seamus and Dr. Hartman? That could be funny. We never see the two of you together. Derek and Jillian, you guys take the attic. And Joe and Priscilla are still passed out, so they'll be the unconscious team. And that leaves three more people, Mort, Consuela and Mayor West. Alright, let's do this."

Everyone split into their separate groups. Barbara held Brian's hand as they and Stewie searched the halls of the manor.

"So while we're looking for Muriel, why don't we play a game?" Barbara suggested. "Something to pass the time so we won't get tired."

"Like what?" Brian asked.

"Hum the theme to an old TV show and we'll guess what it is."

"Ooh! Ooh! Me first!" Stewie said.

Barbara and Brian looked at him as he hummed a few bars.

"Oh, I know that one", Barbara said. "Is it Little House on the Prairie?"

"Right!"

"Okay, um…"

Brian and Stewie looked at her as she hummed a few bars.

"Ah! Star Trek!" Brian answered. "Okay, um…"

He hummed a few bars while moving his head to the beat of the music.

"Oh, Lost in Space", Stewie answered.

"Too easy", Barbara said.

She hummed a few bars and nodded her head to the tune.

"Hawaii 5-0!" Brian answered.

He hummed and moved his head to the beat of the music.

"Oh, that's Dick Van Dyke!" Stewie smiled. "Okay, I got one."

He hummed a tune and moved his head. Barbara and Brian looked at him completely stumped.

"I have no idea", Brian said.

"Linda Evans", Stewie sang to the tune. "And John Forsythe. They're coming down big long stairs. Come on, Brian. You know this. We're all rich and we're all at least in our late 50s."

"That's not ringing any bells", Barbara said.

"Come on, you don't know this?" Stewie asked.

"Is it Falcon Crest?" Brian asked.

"It's Dinasty!"

"You mean Dynasty?" Barbara asked. "I never heard of that show."

"Oh, I didn't watch that", Brian said.

From down the hall, they heard a loud scream from a woman. Barbara grabbed Stewie and Barbara's hands as they ran down the hall and rounded a corner. Right there in front of them laid Muriel. She was dead with a knife sticking out of her back. Barbara screamed along with the two of them as she jumped into Brian's arms.

"Oh my god!" she screamed. "We're all going to die!"

The rest of the party joined them and gasped as they looked at Muriel's body.

"Oh my god, Muriel!" Mort said kneeling next to her body. "My poor, sweet Muriel. She was so young. She was so beauti…she was so gener…we were married!"

"So she's not beautiful or generous?" Barbara asked. "What did you marry her for?"

"Look!" Brian said pointing to the knife. "This is the same knife that killed James Woods."

"Oh my god!" Peter said. "Then Muriel wasn't the killer."

"Well, then…who is?" Jillian asked.

"I don't know", Brian said. "One thing's for sure. If we don't find out before the storm lets up, we're all going to be dead by morning."


	9. The Next Victim

_Hoster's Note: Again, we'll be omitting in-between author's notes. Speaking of which, here's hoping that one day, VBG's interest in  Family Guy would once again rise from the ashes, like it did for her unfinished fanfic, "Grow Up"._

* * *

Chapter 9 - The Next Victim

* * *

Everyone headed back to the dining room to come up with a new plan. Brian wrapped his arm around Barbara as she stuck close to him.

"Brian, I'm so scared", she said. "What if we're next?"

"I won't let that happen", Brian said. "Neither you or me will die."

"But what about the rest of our family? I don't want them to die, either."

"We'll figure this out", he said. "No one's going to die."

"Alright", Peter said. "If we're going to stay alive, we need to stick together from now on. Is everyone here?"

"Wait a minute", Lois said. "Where's Meg?"

"And where's Tom Tucker?" Derek asked.

"Right here!" Tom said as he and Meg came rushing in.

"Oh my god", Diane sighed in relief. "What happened?"

"I fell through a trap door that led to an underground passageway", Meg said.

"Did you see anything in there?" Barbara asked.

"I followed it and it led me to a hatch over there in the parlor", she said pointing.

"The same thing happened to me, but with a moustache", Tom said.

"You could've left out the moustache", Barbara frowned. "It wasn't important. Anyway, was there anything in the hatch?"

"No, nothing", Tom said. "It was just an empty hatch."

"Should we go check it?" she asked Brian.

"Peter said we need to stick together if we're going to make it out alive", Brian said.

"Okay, I will skin this dog for you, in your honor", Peter suddenly said grabbing Brian.

"Peter, what the hell!" Barbara said.

"Derek is a god", he said. "Look at his phone. He held up the Hollywood sign."

"Please don't", Derek said.

"As you wish", Peter said releasing Brian.

Barbara helped Brian to his feet as Derek ran toward the stairs. She glared at Peter before speaking.

"What's going on?"

"Derek has a faint signal", Lois said. "He's going to the roof to see if he can get a better signal."

"Oh thank god", Barbara smiled.

"Alright, nobody leaves this room until he gets back", Peter said.

"Wait a minute", Quagmire said. "Something's not right. We're short one vagina in this room."

"Oh my god!" Brian gasped. "Priscilla's gone!"

Everyone turned to look at the couch Priscilla was last seen only to find no one there. Everyone gasped in fear.

"But that's impossible!" Lois said. "She was still passed out on the couch when we left!"

Everyone turned as they heard the sound of squeaky wheels and moaning.

"What the hell happened?"

"Joe!" Bonnie said hugging him. "You're okay!"

"Yeah, I'm alright. What's going on here?"

"What's going on is Priscilla's the murderer!" Peter said.

"Wait a second", Brian said. "We don't know that."

"Well, she was by herself this whole time!" Lois said.

"Yeah, but she was unconscious!" Dr. Hartman said.

"Yeah, but she could've come to and killed Muriel!" Carl said.

"She might've been faking being unconscious this whole time!" Barbara said.

"This is all speculation", Brian said. "We don't know she's the killer."

"Yeah, besides she's hot", Quagmire said. "Hot chicks are never crazy!"

"You don't watch a lot of movies, do you?" Barbara said. "Hot chicks are crazy bitches."

"That's what I'm talking about!" Carl smiled.

"Derek lifted up the Hollywood sign", Peter said not helping.

Everyone started yelling as the argument grew bigger into a yelling contest. The yelling stopped as they heard a loud crash outside.

"What was that?" Barbara asked.

"It came from out there!" Joe said.

Everyone ran outside to see if there was anyone or anything there. Everyone gasped as they saw Derek's body laying broken and lifeless on the ground.

"He's dead", Dr. Hartman said checking Derek's pulse.

"Do you think he slipped off the roof?" Brian asked.

"Maybe. But he was dead before the fall. Look at this."

Everyone looked at Derek's head to see brain matter and blood pouring from his head.

"He was hit in the head with a blunt object."

"Oh my god!" Jillian cried. "No! Derek!"

Barbara felt bad for Jillian. Even though she didn't like her, no woman should lose their husband in a horrible way like this.

"I'm sorry", she said patting her hand.

"Hey can someone get his phone?" Peter said. "I want to prove something."


	10. The Murder Weapon

Chapter 10 - The Murder Weapon

* * *

Everyone gathered in the den. The storm was getting worse with the wind blowing strong and the rain coming down hard. Barbara sat by Jillian patting her hand, trying to help her cope with Derek's death.

"It'll be ok", Barbara said. "We'll find out who did this and make them pay. Right now we just have to make it through the night."

"Brian's lucky to have you", Jillian sniffled. "You're so good and caring like a person, but with fur, a tail, floppy ears…"

"I get it", she frowned.

"It's Priscilla", Lois said pacing the room and panicking. "I mean, it's got to be Priscilla. She's the only one that's not here."

"Maybe, maybe not", Brian said. "We thought Muriel was the killer and look how that turned out. we have no proof of anything."

"Is this the latest you guys ever stayed up?" Stewie asked not caring about their situation. "It's the latest I've ever stayed up."

"Oh no!" Consuela said. "Someone taken Mr. Woods' Golden Globe!"

Everyone looked at the mantel to see three Golden Globe award. There was a space in between two of them showing that one was missing. The dust on the mantel proved that one award was taken.

"She's right", Brian said. "There was a Golden Globe award here, now it's gone."

"I think we may have identified our blunt object", Joe said taking a look.

"All we have to do is find that Golden Globe award and we'll have our murder weapon. And if we're lucky, we may have our killer."

"Where do you suppose Priscilla and the award might be?" Barbara asked. "This place is huge and there's traps everywhere."

"From this moment forth, nobody leaves the group", Joe said.

"Joe's right", Peter said. "Everyone huddle up!"

Everyone huddled up together in a tight group with their backs facing each other so they can keep an eye on their surroundings.

"Now what?" Barbara asked.

"Now we're going to search the house and we're going to move as one", Joe said. "Anyone who separates from the group, we will assume is the killer. All clear?"

Everyone nodded and mumbled an agreement. They all began walking toward the main hallway heading to the stairs, slowly and taking small steps at a time. They stopped as they reached the foot of the stairs looking at Joe.

"Oh boy, we got a problem", Dr. Hartman said.

"Okay, on the count of three", Peter said. "One…two…three!"

Everyone grabbed ahold of Joe's chair and raised him up over their heads.

"Thanks, guys", Joe said looking embarrassed.

"That's kind of cool", Barbara said as they carried Joe up the stairs. "Got a good view up there?"

"Yeah, this is okay."

As they climbed up the stairs in silence, Peter smirked as he got an idea. He started humming Hava Nagila finding humor in this situation.

" _Hava nagila, hava…"_

"Stop it, Peter", Joe said.

"I like that song", Barbara said.

" _Nagila, hava nagila ve-nismeha_ "

"Peter, knock it off", he said getting annoyed.

"Aw."

"Okay, Jew—Joe!" Peter said.

"Shut up! I'm not Jewish!"

"Well", Mort said looking impressed and offended. "I think we learned a little something about our friendly neighborhood policeman today."


	11. The Killer

Chapter 11 - The Killer

* * *

Everyone walked down the hallway still huddled together in a tight group. They had reached the top of the stairs and now were outside everyone's bedrooms.

"Alright, we have to search every one of these rooms", Brian said. "We'll start with Quagmire's."

Everyone huddled to the end of the hallway starting in Quagmire's room. They opened the doors and stepped inside looking around.

"Oh, my god!" Peter said breaking the silence. "Are those Stephanie's underpants?"

"Oh god", Quagmire mumbled embarrassed.

"You hound", Barbara laughed looking at Quagmire.

"They're huge!" Mayor West laughed looking at the underwear on the floor.

"Looks like the crotch got chewed on by a walrus mouth", Stewie laughed.

"Look, it's got flowers!" Lois laughed. "I mean, why bother? Who's going to see them?"

"Maybe someone in space", Chris answered making everyone laugh.

"Come on, guys", Quagmire said. "Can't we just all be glad she's dead?"

"What's your problem?" Barbara asked. "If you didn't like her, why did you bring her?"

"I was desperate", Quagmire frowned. "I haven't been laid in days."

Everyone shrugged it off as they huddled back up and left the room. Together, they walked across the hall into the next room. They opened the door and entered to look around. Carl walked over to the bed to see a giant poster of Tom Tucker.

"Whose room is this?" he asked.

"It's, uh…my room", Tom answered.

"You travel with a giant poster of yourself?" Bonnie asked.

"Yes, it helps me get to sleep knowing big Tom Tucker's keeping a watchful eye for nocturnal intruders."

"Ego maniac", Barbara mumbled making Brian nod.

"What a ridiculous man you are", Mayor West said frowning.

"Look, I didn't know my room was going to be scrutinized", Tom said. "If you don't like it, let's get out of here."

"Not until we search the place", Joe said.

"Brian, is it just me or is he acting like he's got something to hide?" Barbara asked.

"He's hiding something", Brian said. "Why else would he want us to leave so soon?"

Everyone went around the room, checking everything for evidence. They checked, the bedroom, the ensuite bathroom. Meg pulled the covers up, looking under the bed. Everyone looked at her as she gasped.

"You guys?"

Everyone watched as she held up the missing Golden Globe award with blood at the end. Everyone gasped and turned to Tom.

"Well, well", Joe said. "I think we found our killer."

"Oh whoa, now wait a minute!" Tom said. "That's not mine!"

"Then I suppose it crawled under your bed all by itself?" Joe asked.

"Maybe, it did! I didn't murder anyone!"

"Tell it to Mike Judge!" Peter said.

"Mike Judge?" Barbara asked. "Wrong show, Peter."

Everyone gathered around as they stepped toward Tom.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa", he said backing away. "This is crazy! What about Priscilla? We have no idea where she is. She could've planted that there."

"He's got a point there", Barbara said.

"Well, I suppose it's possible", Joe hesitantly said.

Out of nowhere, everyone heard the sound of a splatter.

"What the hell?" Peter said looking at his face.

A drop of blood fell onto his face making him look.

"Aw, dang it. I got a nosebleed."

"No, you don't", Joe said looking up at the ceiling.

Everyone looked up to the ceiling to the air duct. Blood was dripping out of the vent.

"I'm scared", Barbara said.

Brian held her close as Peter picked up Joe and put him on his shoulders. Joe took a candelabra and hit it against the air duct. Everyone screamed in fear as they saw the dead body of Priscilla fall out of the vent. Her throat was cut open and her eyes were left wide open.

"Oh…" Barbara mumbled.

"Barbara!"

Barbara fainted to the floor as everyone went after Tom.


	12. The Real Killer

Chapter 12 - The _Real_ Killer

* * *

Barbara woke up the next morning to see the sunlight shining through the window. It had finally stopped raining. They had made it through the night alive. Barbara got up and walked to the window to see what was happening outside. There were wooden boards placed over the bridge to let cars come and go. Paramedics were carrying the dead bodies to the ambulances. The police had arrived and were placing Tom Tucker in the back of one of the cars.

"Hey, you're awake."

Barbara turned to see Brian coming in the room packing their things.

"What happened last night?" she asked.

"You fainted when we found Priscilla's body", Brian said. "After that, we all caught Tom. Right now he's being arrested and charged for murder."

"So we're safe then?"

"We're safe for another day. I'm going to take these bags to the car. Look around and see if I forgot anything."

Barbara watched Brian carry the bags into the hallway. She looked around the room making sure they didn't forget anything. If they did, they would not see it again. No one would be willing to come back to the manor. Barbara found nothing and decided to head down to the car. She saw Diane packing up her stuff. She felt bad for the poor woman knowing her friend and partner was a killer.

"Hi, Diane", Barbara said walking in.

"Hi, Barbara", she said turning around.

"You doing okay? Do you want to talk about anything?"

"I'm managing", Diane said. "It's just…so hard to believe you can work with someone for 15 years and yet, have no idea who they really are. What they're capable of."

"People have a way of surprising you", Barbara said sitting on the bed. "So, what are you going to do now? Work the news by yourself?"

"I suppose for the time being."

"That ought to be exciting. Maybe now the news will be enjoyable without Tom badgering you all the time."

"That's what I was thinking", she chuckled. "You remind me of my mother. She bought this blouse for my first solo broadcast. I guess that's sweet, huh?"

"Hold up", Barbara said. "How did your mother know you were going to do a solo broadcast?"

"What do you mean?" Diane asked giving a creepy smile.

Barbara's eyes widened as she jumped off the bed.

"Well, everyone's waiting in the car for me", she said. "I'd better get going. Good luck with your broadcast."

"Oh, really?" Diane said. "But I was enjoying our talk."

"I need to get going. The whole family's waiting for me."

"No", she said holding a gun to her. "I don't think so."

"Oh my god", Barbara said her voice beginning to quiver. "You're the killer, not Tom!"

"Very good. You shouldn't have stopped to say hi to me. You would've lived longer."

"I don't understand. Why did you do it? What did all those people do to you?"

"Well, I suppose it really all began a year ago when James Woods and I met at a press event and began seeing each other. We both valued our privacy, so we agreed to keep it a secret from the media. Everything in my life was wonderful. But then a few months ago, I turned 40. It was hard for me to begin with, but it only got worse when not-so-coincidentally Tom began pushing Channel 5 News to replace me with a fresh young face, and he succeeded. Three weeks from now, I'll be off the air. Well, apparently all men think the same way because around the same time, James dumped me.

I watched my career and my love life crumble, and I wasn't going to just stand by and take it. That's when I had the good fortune to meet a young news intern named Priscilla. She was so anxious to get into the reporting business and would've done anything to get on my good side. So I seized the moment. I paid her off to seduce James Woods and reel him into a relationship like a fish on a line. I knew a young hot woman like Priscilla could manipulate James into doing anything I want. At my direction, she persuaded him to become a born-again Christian. And instilled him with the drive to bring together all the people he wronged.

That's how this weekend came to pass. Of course, Priscilla knew nothing of my real intentions, but she played the part beautifully nonetheless. There was no way she could know I planned to kill James Woods and frame Tom Tucker, therefore ruining the two people that cast me aside and ruined my life."

"Oh my god", Barbara said. "You're a complete psycho!"

"Why, thank you, Barbara", Diane said.

"But, why did you kill the others if you just wanted James Woods?" she asked.

"It was all supposed to go so smoothly. The hidden gun goes off, kills James Woods, and at the first opportunity, I retrieve the gun and plant it in Tom's bag, James is dead and Tom goes to prison. Nice and easy. But Stephanie got in the way. She was in James' chair at the wrong time. When I realized my mistake, I had to improvise. The power outage provided a perfect cover. I grabbed the knife off the dinner table and stabbed James. But as Joe pointed out, there were fingerprints. I couldn't just leave it there.

So when Tom and I got separated in the gallery, I went back into the dining room and got the knife. But at that moment, Priscilla regained consciousness after fainting. She started to become hysterical. I knew I couldn't risk her revealing that I engineered this whole gather. So I killed her and I hid her in Tom's room. I tried to plant the knife in Tom's suitcase, but at that point Muriel walked in and caught me in the act. It wasn't her fault, poor thing, but she had to die. I stabbed her and she screamed. I had to leave the knife because I couldn't very well hide it on my person with everyone closing in. so I wiped off the fingerprints and ran.

I slipped into the rest of the group when they all converged on the scene. I needed more time to finish my work framing Tom, but that's when Derek ran out to the balcony. I couldn't let him contact the police before everything was in place, so I had to kill him too. When Peter was yelling at everyone about the picture of Derek holding up the Hollywood sign, I grabbed the Golden Globe and slipped out. I followed Derek outside and did what I had to do. I barely had enough time to plant the Golden Globe in Tom's room and run downstairs where I took advantage of the commotion and joined the crowd as they were all running outside. And the rest, well, everyone did all the rest for me. They turned on Tom exactly as I planned.

So there you have it."

"Holy crap", Barbara gasped. "But wait. Whatever happened to Stephanie's body?"

"Actually, that's the one thing I don't know", Diane shrugged.

* * *

Quagmire was driving at full speed to get home. He hit a bump in the road, making the trunk of his car open and Stephanie's body fell out of the trunk.

"Dammit", he grumbled picking up the body and putting it back in the car.


	13. Final Escape

Chapter 13 - Final Escape

* * *

The Griffins were growing impatient as they sat in the car waiting for Barbara. She was still inside the mansion. Peter honked the horn getting annoyed.

"God, what's taking her so long?" he complained.

"I'll go check", Brian said. "She does have a tendency to space out when she thinks deep stuff."

"Let me go with you, Brian", Stewie said getting out of his car seat.

The two of them walked toward the mansion not suspecting what was going on inside.

"Boy, what a crazy night", Stewie said.

"Yeah", Brian said. "I think it'll take everyone weeks to get over what happened here. I mean, Mort lost his wife. Jillian lost her husband. Tom Tucker's going to jail which means Diane will be hosting alone. Wait..."

He looked around to see almost every guest gone except for Diane. Her car was still here, where was she? Something wasn't right.

"You got one of your locating inventions on you?" Brian asked.

"Why?" Stewie asked pulling a device from his overall pocket.

"Something's wrong. Barbara's missing and Diane's missing. Can you use that thing to find Barbara?"

Stewie turned on the locator and pressed a few buttons trying to find Barbara. The screen zoomed in on two dots not far from where they were standing.

"She's on the other side of the mansion with Diane", Stewie said.

* * *

Barbara walked to the back of the mansion toward the cliff with Diane pointing the gun against the back of her head. Barbara gasped in fear as she looked over the side of the cliff to see the ocean slam against the pointy rocks below.

"Well, it's a shame you have to die, Barbara", Diane smiled. "Look on the bright side. You'll be a story on the 6:00 news, you know, unless a local cat does something funny."

"Diane, please", Barbara said getting on her knees begging. "You don't have to do this. I swear I won't tell anyone what you did."

"That's right. You won't tell anyone. Goodbye, Barbara."

Barbara closed her eyes and prayed in silence as Diane cocked the gun. She flinched as she heard the sound of a gunshot, but strangely, she felt no blood, no pain at all. Barbara opened her eyes and looked at herself not finding a single bullet. Instead, Diane had a bullet hole in her chest that was gushing with blood. She screamed as she fell to her knees, falling over the edge of the cliff, into the ocean below.

Barbara looked in horror before getting up, looking around for whoever shot Diane.

"Hello?" she called out. "Brian? Stewie? Joe? Anybody?"

She received no answer.

"Whoever you are, thank you."

The one place she didn't look was inside the mansion. There was an open window and in that window was a sniper rifle. Brian and Stewie pulled the gun out of the window with a satisfied smirk.

"Hasta la vista, baby", Brian said. "I always wanted to say that."

"Let's just go", Stewie said taking the gun and going back to the car.

Everyone made it back to the car safe and sound. The Griffins drove away back to Quahog, never to return to the mansion.

* * *

The End

* * *

 _Original Author's Note: That's the end of **this** fic! Stay tuned for another one coming soon. What will happen to Brian and Barbara next? Find out in the next  Family Guy fic!_

* * *

 _Hoster'_ _s_ _Note:_ _I'm sure that **I** already know. Happy Easter, everyone._


End file.
